Tracks
tHIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING EVER
Step 1: Go someplace public with your laptop.
Step 2: Click HERE
Step 3: Press f11
Step 4: Start typing frantically.
Step 5: Make sure other people see your screen.
Step 6: ???????
Step 7: Profit
it helps if you roll your neck a few times, grunt and crack your knuckles. Trust me.
Holy fucking shit. This has 80 thousand notes?!?!
THIS IS WAY MORE ENTERTAINING THAN IT SHOULD BE
this is too good
The vow!
Artwork by Tim Shumate
by 洋一
Sourdough Danish Pastries Tutorial Sets {You must click link for FULL tutorial/recipe}
IF YOU WANT TO BE A SUPER-FANCY ASSHOLE WITH YOUR BAKED GOODS
I really love food.
Apparently, this was the guy who was deported for being too handsome.
Suddenly, I understand.
omg I thought they were kidding but that’s literally what happened
Happens to me all the time.
This is hilarious. And ridiculous at the same time. But mostly hilarious.
Oh, and he is handsome.
(Source: hahaniechan)
How to Scramble Eggs with Gordon Ramsay
1. he seems like a chill mofo to hang with
2. what the hell have i been eating my entire life
If you guys watch his shows on the BBC, he’s much more relaxed and calm.
Text tricks.
<sup> makes words go like thiiiiis.
<sub> makes them do thiiiiis.
<small> makes words go little. The more <small> you have the smaller the word.
Same thing applies with <big>.
<u> makes underlines.
Go here for Ｆｕｌｌ Ｗｉｄｔｈ.
̛̰̖̲̰͑ͨ͒̌͑̍̿̈͘Z̨̜̲̥̯̮̭͍̳ͧͣ͋̊̋͗Ȁ̪̼̠͎͒ͨ́̚͘͢͞L̸͉̬̻͌̒͑̊̽͡Ğ̝̮̝̗̲ͧ͝Ȍ͍̪̪̖͕̟͈̝̰̆͋̾̀ is found here.
Go here if you want some uʍop əpısdn.
_______
Of course these are just basic things. You can also look at the HTML button for the codes if youre not up for searching through Google for them.
The button is here:
you betray the secrets of the trade
for those who never learned
<code> makes your text monospaced, <pre> puts your text in a grey box
More unicode text is available with these tools.
This tool provides you with characters that match what you draw.
This tool lets you draw in monospace ASCII which you can then put in <code> on Tumblr.
This tool makes big-ass letters with text. Everything but the AOL fonts require monospace (<code>).
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Source: meenah-poly)
Zoom
Info
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Camera
Canon EOS DIGITAL REBEL XS |
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ISO
200 |
Aperture
f/2.5 |
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Exposure
1/250th |
Focal Length
78mm |
WANT SOME FUCKING HEAVENLY GOODNESS IN YOUR MOUTH? WELL PREPARE FOR THE ANGELIC FOOD OF A LIFETIME BECAUSE YOU’RE ABOUT TO MAKE A CHOCOLATE ECLAIR DESERT, FUCKER.
START OFF BY GALLOPING YOUR NOBLE STEED ALL THE WAY DOWN TO YOUR LOCAL GROCERY STORE (OR ACROSS THE COUNTRY, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK) TO PICK UP A BOX OF HONEY GRAHAM CRACKERS, TWO PACKAGES OF INSTANT VANILLA PUDDING (BECAUSE ONE ISN’T ENOUGH FOR A HARDCORE METAL FUCKER LIKE YOU), THREE CUPS OF MILK, EIGHT OUNCES OF COOL WHIP, AND A CONTAINER OF CHOCOLATE FROSTING. IF YOU WANT, GO FOR THE GOLD AND GET SOME FUCKING GOURMET CHOCOLATE ICING WITH SPRINKLES OR SOME SHIT, IT DOESN’T REALLY MATTER.
ONCE YOU GET BACK HOME FROM YOUR FUCKING ODYSSEY, MAKE THAT PUDDING FOLLOWING THE FUCKING DIRECTIONS ON THE LABEL TO A T, YOU DON’T WANT TO MESS UP THIS SHIT. TRUST THE BOX. PUT YOUR FAITH IN THE BOX. YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO CARRY THE BURDEN OF REMEMBERING A RECIPE, BUT THAT BOX SURE AS HELL CAN CARRY YOU ON, MY WAYWARD SON.
POUR THAT PUDDING OF CREAMY DREAMS INTO A BOWL WITH THE MILK AND MAKE THAT COOL WHIP YOUR FOLLOWER FOR LIFE BY FOLDING IT INTO YOUR MIXTURE.
STEAL A GLASS PAN FROM YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD ASSHOLE AND THROW A LAYER OF GRAHAM CRACKERS ONTO THE BOTTOM LIKE THE CLASSY METAL ROCKSTAR YOU ARE.
SLIDE IN HALF OF THAT MOTHERFUCKING PUDDING MIXTURE YOU MADE EARLIER, AND REPEAT THAT LAYERING OF GRAHAM CRACKERS AND PUDDING ONE MORE TIME.
PUNCH ANOTHER LAYER OF GRAHAM CRACKERS ON TOP OF THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE NO LAZY ASS. IF SOMEHOW YOU MISREAD THESE FUCKING DIRECTIONS, IT’S NO BIG DEAL, BECAUSE THIS CAKE IS SO FUCKING SMART THAT IT’LL ACCOMMODATE YOUR LAYERING MISTAKES. IT’S PRACTICALLY A ROCKET SCIENTIST.
JESUS FUCK I BET THIS FOOD IS SMARTER THAN YOU!
PITCH THAT MOTHERFUCKING CHOCOLATE FROSTING IN THE MICROWAVE FOR THIRTY SECONDS UNTIL IT’S HOTTER THAN THE RAGE EXPLODING OUT OF THE CHUNK OF DESTIEL FANDOM WHO CAN’T SEEM TO FUCKING REALIZE THAT THEIR OTP IS PRACTICALLY CANON ALREADY, AND THERE’S NO GODDAMN WAY THE WRITERS ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO MAKE MERLIN’S MISTAKE!
CALM THE FUCK DOWN, YOU STILL HAVE ANOTHER SEASON AND A HALF, JESUS CHRIST
MAKE SURE YOU STIR IT SO THAT IT MELTS ALL THE WAY THROUGH MOTHERFUCKER.
POUR THAT SHIT ALL OVER THE TOP OF YOUR GRAHAM CRACKER LAYER AND SPREAD IT AROUND SO THAT IT’S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO SEE ANYTHING BUT CHOCOLATE DELICIOUSNESS. IF YOU DESIRE SOME SPRINKLES, NOW’S THE TIME TO PUT THOSE DUMMIES ON THE CAKE.
AGGRESSIVELY CLEAR OUT YOUR REFRIGERATOR TO MAKE ROOM FOR THIS ROYAL MASTERPIECE AND KEEP THAT SHIT IN THERE FOR AT LEAST TWO HOURS SO THAT IT BECOMES HALF AS HARDCORE AS YOU ARE.
HAVE SOME MOTHERFUCKING ECLAIR DESSERT LIKE FUCK YES!
